The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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