Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
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i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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