don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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