Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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