His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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