His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
