Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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