I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
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he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
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I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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