last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
the day after is always just damage control
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
