You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
