took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
