oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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