i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
