Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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