I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
