physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
