Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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