Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
