I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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