somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
