oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
