Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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