pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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