JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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