i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
