he puts the penis in happiness.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize