So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
