shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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