and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
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I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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