I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
