physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
