One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
