Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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