You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
there was a trapeze. enough said
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
