and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
