I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize