Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
