i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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