I am spending my child support on dildos
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
