tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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