I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
