How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
