I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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