The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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