You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I would fuck him just for his dog
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
