If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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