4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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