I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Never underestimate the power of titties
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
