I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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