so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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