They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Found the puke drawer
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
