i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
