My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Enjoy the penises
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
