He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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