1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
one might say we're banned from that church
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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