i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
