He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
