can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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