I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
ttyl tear gas
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
