don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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