I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
