Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
